electric chair
priest: Do you have any last requests, my child?
me: ya. spell “icup” hehe
me: so… i bet the twix rabbit had a pretty big dick huh. I bet he was hung like a horse huh
tumblr crowd:
publicist *whispering into my ear*: you need to be more relatable
me: uh… bees. save the Bees?
tumblr crowd: *claps a little, a few cheers*
me: the smol cinnamon roll bees ?
tumblr crowd: *cheering louder, lots of applause now*
me: TFW the smol cinnamon roll bees save you by giving you an A in the second semester of school and your crush is dat boi. Shop at Hot Topic
tumblr crowd: *cheering and applauding thunderously loud now*
my killer:
any last words?
me:
stay hydrated (:
Renaming Vampire Weekend albums like
1. Yes All Rich People
2. My Gay Experience In High School
3. Religious Angst (Is It Salvation I Want Or Falafel?)
if your fursona dies then do you die for real
*very slowly sips Jack Daniels through a very long silly-straw* as a matter of fact, yes, i do happen to firmly believe that Bill Clinton is genderfluid and aromantic. thank you for asking
The main characters of animes always figure out the whole plot from the tiniest details.
forest
me *seeing cool tree*: nature is so refreshing
me *seeing insect*: & is also proof that god has abandoned us and wants to watch us burn
shadow figure that is always looming in the corner of my eye but disappears when i turn to face it: hey shitlord stop making such moderately relatable tumblr text posts
me: up yours asshole. next time i turn to face you you had better not disappear
me: *turns to face him but he disappears* god damn it